Fantasy and Science Fiction - Competition
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May/June 2018
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F&SF Bibliography: 1949-1999
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"Titles the Rearrange"

For Competition #95, "Titles the Rearrange," our entrants not only had to scramble a title but also scramble the resulting plot. The winners made us laugh and think. Thanks to John Ordover and Melissa Lee Shaw for their judging skills.

Who Doctor (Doctor Who,television series)

When a Who's sick in Whoville, he
           goes and he knocks
On the door of the Who Doctor's
           blue police box
Ibuprofen! And insulin! Acid that's
He fills out prescriptions on paper
           that's psychic
His second-heart transplant, no
           trouble at all,
Cures anyone's heart that's two
           sizes too small.
—Ziv Wities
Givat Shmuel, Israel

"The Equations Cold" ("The Cold Equations" by Tom Godwin)
A pilot delivering much needed medicines to a frontier planet develops a bad cold while trying to astronavigate. A stowaway girl solves the equations and jettisons his seat to compensate for her weight, leaving him sniffling on the deck, wondering why he hadn't thought of that.
—Brian Youmans
Arlington, Massachusetts, USA

The Magic of Color (The Color of Magic by Sir Terry Pratchett)
Wizard Rincewind grows an afro and travels the world with his assistant Twoflower to paint the scenes of Discworld. His paintings grow so popular that Rincewind is offered his own television show. Rincewind declines, believing that no one would watch a show about learning to paint.
—Tara Habenicht
North Ridgeville, Ohio, USA

Omega the Man (The Omega Man, movie)
It's Myron Omega's bar mitzvah, but when flesh-eating real estate developers attack his temple, he must fend them off and prove that he's become a man.
—Leon and Stephanie Perniciaro
Aachen, Germany

Lensman First (First Lensman by E.E. Smith)
Virgil Samms campaigns on a platform of "Make Arisia Great Again."
—Mike Ciaraldi
Worcester, Massachusetts, USA





For our next competition, we want you to do a crime-scene write-up of your favorite science fiction/fantasy character, either from print or on screen. The character (who could still be alive in fiction) should die in the most amusingly appropriate way possible.

Example: Young Tattooine farm boy Luke Skywalker died after drinking a glass of bad blue milk. Upon investigation, it was discovered that the refrigerator had a faulty power converter.

You have six entries of fifty words or less to make us laugh. The ones who make us laugh the hardest win a prize.
Give us your mailing address, people. We need it like Martians need potatoes.

Send entries to Competition Editor, F&SF, 240 West 73rd St. #1201, New York, NY 10023-2794, or email entries to Be sure to include your contact information. Entries must be received by July 15, 2018. Judges are the editors of F&SF, and their decision is final. All entries become the property of F&SF.

Prizes: First prize will receive a copy of the trade hardcover edition of Blood's a Rover by Harlan Ellison (compliments of Subterranean Press). Second prize will receive advance reading copies of three forthcoming novels. Any Honorable Mentions will receive one-year subscriptions to F&SF. Results of Competition #96 will appear in the November/December 2018 issue.

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